


So You Want to Date a Monster

by Artemis_Egeria



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: AUgust 2020, AUgust Day 26, Alternate Universe - No Avengers, Alternate Universe - No Powers, F/M, Implied/Referenced Sexual Harassment, Prompt Fic, Prompt Fill, Slight Sexual Harassment
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-18
Updated: 2020-09-18
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:20:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26520547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Artemis_Egeria/pseuds/Artemis_Egeria
Summary: Wanda produces a reality television show. She gets more than she bargained for from one contestant.
Relationships: Wanda Maximoff/Vision
Comments: 11
Kudos: 28
Collections: AE's Scarlet Vision AUgust 2020, AUgust 2020





	So You Want to Date a Monster

**Author's Note:**

> A very loose take on monster “hunting.”
> 
> I was thinking of Vision’s line in AoU, “Maybe I am a monster. I don’t think I’d know if I were one.” This idea proceeded to randomly jump into my head.
> 
> In this world, there are no Avengers and no superpowers, but all the canon characters exist pretty much as they were pre-canon.

Wanda cued up the prerecorded bit from the announcer as the music swelled. “Thank you for tuning into this week’s episode of _So You Want to Date a Monster_! So far this season, you’ve seen The Wolfman, Swamp Thing, and the Creature from the Black Lagoon find love. This week, you’ll see the one and only synthezoid created by Tony Stark, Vision, try his luck at finding a mate!”

Safely hidden in her booth, Wanda scoffed. She’d interviewed all these people and none of them deserved Vision. No one cared about who he really was. They just had bizarre ideas about his sexual habits that they wanted to exploit. Still, this was her job, and Vision was only a contestant on one episode out of the whole season. She told herself that her outrage would fade once the episode was over.

She just hadn’t bet on becoming his friend throughout the interviews and human interest segments she produced for his episode. As the head producer, she had strict rules about not befriending contestants, but Vision’s guileless enthusiasm had gotten past her walls before she thought to defend them. Now she couldn’t imagine not having him in her life.

Which was a problem because this was the end of his journey on the show. He would finally meet the last three girls and decide which one he would go on a date with. The only thing left to do would be to record one brief interview sometime after the date to air on a later episode.

Seeing Vision waiting below, trying not to broadcast his nervousness, immediately put the lie to that thought. He was her friend now, rules be damned. He remained completely still, but Wanda could feel the anxiety pouring off him.

She looked at her watch. They had ten more minutes of pre-recorded pieces before the girls were brought out. She hurried down to the stage under the guise of working out a few final details. Vision’s eyes caught sight of her gratefully, and she knew she had made the right choice.

“Is something wrong with my sweater?”

“No, I just wanted to wish you luck.”

“Oh, thank you.” He managed a genuine smile, and Wanda’s own face was unfrozen. She forgot where they were for a moment.

“You’ll do great.”

“So will you. I could not ask for a better producer.”

“I better go back.” He nodded at her, and she gave him two thumbs up before she walked away.

She sat through the whole episode clenching her fists. The three women who had made it to the final meet-and-greet were making every attempt to push themselves on Vision, despite the way he subtly backed away from them. Wanda was very tempted to pull the fire alarm or something just to get everything to stop. 

But Vision made his choice, and the episode came to an end before she followed through on it. The cameras wrapped and people began to clean up the set. The actual date would not occur for a few weeks yet. So, all the contestants were escorted away.

Wanda stopped by Vision’s dressing room after her final tasks for the night were completed. “Are you okay?”

His smile was still a bit tight, but it warmed up as he faced her. “Yes, I am. But I will never let Tony convince me to do something like this again.”

“Good idea.” She should have simply left, but she couldn’t let it go. “Hey, do you want to come celebrate your ordeal almost being done at my place tomorrow?”

“Yes, that would be lovely. Thank you, Wanda.” Wanda felt a full smile bloom on her face as she gave him her address and set the rest of details.

During the next few weeks, she traveled to shoot the footage for the Mummy’s episode. It was a long trip to Egypt, and her troubles were only exacerbated by having to remind the contestant that not every woman he met was his long-lost love. Wanda’s reprieves were her chats with Vision some days. It was a relief to come home at the end of those weeks.

On her first night back, Wanda was surprised by someone at her door. She didn’t know who could be knocking at ten o’clock. She wasn’t expecting anyone. But when she peeked out her window to see Vision shifting slightly on her front porch, she rushed to get the door. “Hey, Vizh! Everything okay?”

“Technically, yes.” He paused as if searching for words, a rarity for him. Her heart went out the discomfort in his expression.

When he showed no signs of saying more, Wanda took pity on him. “Do you want to come in?”

“If I am not intruding.”

“Of course not! Come on in.” Vision smiled just slightly at the invitation. She gestured to her sofa in the front room. “I’d offer you a drink or something, but I know that’s not your thing.”

“No, but thank you for the thought.”

Wanda glanced at her watch and something jogged her memory. “Wasn’t it your date tonight?”

“Yes.” He struggled against an uncharacteristic grimace. “I am aware that time passed the same as always, but experientially, it was the longest two hours of my existence.”

“I’m sorry.” She mustered the words, but she could not feel too upset that he did not enjoy the date. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“There is nothing especially to tell. The woman continually invaded my personal space and stared at me. Then, we got to the restaurant, and a number of people tried to get pictures. She happily posed for the cameras, but it made me extremely uncomfortable. I escaped as soon as I could politely say good night on her doorstep.” Wanda resisted asking if she had kissed him good night. It was clear that, if he had, it would have been entirely unwanted on his part. But she believed he would still refuse Wanda the satisfaction of doing any violence to the contestant.

“I’m sorry.” She tentatively reached for his hand, letting her hand hover over his until he nodded. The last thing she wanted to do was to add to his discomfort. “So it’s safe to say the show didn’t bring you love. Maybe you should sue.”

It was a joke, and Wanda was relieved when Vision smiled more widely. “Sadly, I have read every clause of the contract I signed, and I waived any right to sue for any reason whatsoever.”

“Mmm. Too bad. At least your ordeal is over.”

“Yes, I am pleased about that.”

Wanda sought to fill the silence that stretched between them. “Want to watch a movie?”

“That sounds like a fine suggestion.”

She selected _Finding Nemo_ , for its charming animation and lack of a romantic subplot. She believed neither Vision nor she were much interested in those right now. The movie passed quickly. Those couple of hours felt like the blink of an eye.

As the credits rolled, Vision’s eyes went distant in the way they did when he was checking one of his internal systems. “Well, I have intruded on you long enough. Thank you for your hospitality. I will be leaving now.”

He stood, but Wanda reached for his wrist. “It’s really late. You can stay here if you want. The couch is pretty comfortable.”

“I would like that if it is acceptable to you.”

“I was the one who made the suggestion,” Wanda teased.

“Ah, so you were.”

She grabbed him a blanket, even though she knew he didn’t get cold. She always liked to snuggle up in one, even on the warmest summer nights. “Make yourself at home.”

“Thank you, Wanda. Sweet dreams.”

The next morning Wanda was slowly roused to alertness by the aroma of pancakes coming from her small kitchen. She shuffled into the room in a big, fluffy robe. Vision smiled at her, presenting her with a plate. “Good morning.”

“Morning. Thank you for breakfast.”

“You are welcome.” He sat with her as she consumed two full plates. Eating was not something she focused on most of the time, but his pancakes were too good to ignore. They cleaned up the meal together before Wanda had to leave for work and Vision returned to Stark’s lab to help with his next invention. Wanda almost believed that she could live like this every day.

The next few months passed uneventfully. Wanda went onto produce other episodes. They recorded Vision and his date’s post-date interview, but there was no surge in popularity for the couple. She supposed they didn’t provide enough drama when she received confirmation that they had not so much as kissed.

And practically every week during that time, sometimes several times a week, she and Vision met up. Sometimes they would stay at her place. Other times they would go to his penthouse, though she never felt truly comfortable there.

They weren’t trying to hide their friendship. There was no official rule against it. But Vision did draw attention. So they spent most of their time together in private spaces. They would often sleep over at each other’s places and make breakfast the next morning.

And then the day came that Wanda had been dreading. The season wrap party. She did not have much fondness for any of her coworkers. But she always felt the need to make an appearance. So she braced herself for an unpleasant night, and made her way to the venue. It was a fancy club in the middle of the city. The show did like to splash out for the end-of-season events.

She endured many attempts to flirt and angle for promotions, forcing herself to be subtle in her denial of those attempts. The party became increasingly raucous as the night wore on, people forgetting that this was a work event. She finally allowed herself to leave after she slapped away the third set of wandering hands that interrupted her dancing.

Wanda was about to head home, but her feet took her instead to Vision’s apartment. His doorman knew her by now, so he let her in without question. She rode the elevator to Vision’s floor. She was feeling more cheerful already until she saw the scene playing out before her.

Vision was clutching his front door, half shielding himself behind it. “I am sorry if there was any miscommunication, Miss Smith, but I have no intention of letting you in.” His voice was steady, but Wanda could see the desperation in his eyes. “I do not even know how you learned my address.”

The girl flashed him an absolutely predatory smile. “Just a little bit of digging. That’s all. Come on. We’ll have fun, like I told you after our date. I can show you a good time.” She leaned in closer despite Vision’s attempts to get away from her without slamming the door in her face.

“Thank you for the offer, but as I have told you, I am not interested.”

She still reached for him, but that was quite enough. Wanda shoved the girl away. “I’ll thank you to leave my boyfriend alone.” She quailed under Wanda’s very real fury.

“I- I didn’t know!”

“Well, now you do. So get out of here.” She scampered off without another word. When she had disappeared behind the elevator doors, she finally turned to Vision. She was unsure how he would take her lie. She hadn’t planned it; the words had simply fallen from her tongue.

She was reassured by the warmth of gratitude and delight in his eyes. “Thank you, Wanda.” He opened the door wider and ushered her inside. “I was prepared to try almost anything to rid myself of her.”

“Happy to help.” Wanda grinned, trying to keep things light and not let her fury at the girl’s stalking consume her. Her grin faded under Vision’s intense gratitude. They stood across the doorway simply staring at each other. “Uh, do you mind if I come in?”

“Oh, of course. Apologies.” He set about being the perfect host as always. He made her tea her preferred way and set out an immaculate tray with her favorite cookies that he always had on hand for her.

When they settled on his sofa, his eyes went distant for a moment. “What brings you here? Was this not the night of your party?”

“Oh, yeah. You remember how you said your date was the longest night of your life?” He nodded sympathetically. “Well, I felt the same about tonight.”

“Ah, I am sorry you had such a terrible evening.” Wanda shrugged and took a sip of her tea. The memories of the night were already fading in the light of Vision’s companionship. “It is late, but would you like to pick up where we left off with _Downton Abbey_?”

“Ooh! Yes.” Vision turned on the TV and cued up the show. She casually rested her head on his shoulder as the next episode began. Wanda had been skeptical when they first started the series, but she had come to appreciate the characters’ accents and genteel way of talking more and more. Though she still felt more for the servants than the Crawleys.

They played through three episodes. The sun was beginning to peek over the horizon, and Wanda was fighting off sleep. She came to full awareness when Vision started to rise. She sat up until Vision brought her a blanket. “Do you have to be anywhere this morning?”

“No, I’m free all day.”

“Then, rest.” She did as she was told, reclining back against the pillows. She quickly fell asleep despite the rising sun.

When she woke up, she judged that it was mid-day. Vision was nowhere in sight. She folded his blanket and made her way to his kitchen. Smiling at the notepad on the side of the kitchen counter, she started to leave a note. For a person who could effortlessly remember everything, Vision loved his little notes. She finished writing and gathered her things to return home.

She was at the door when Vision phased through it. Only his hands on her elbows kept her from falling. “Oh, apologies, Wanda. I did not want to wake you with the click of the door.”

Wanda shook her head. “It’s okay,” she replied a tad breathlessly. She had instinctively grabbed his arms as well. They had never been quite so close. Wanda had always been entranced by the shade of Vision’s eyes, but this was the first time she had seen all the little gears working behind the blue. She could stare into them for hours.

Thankfully, Vision showed no signs of letting go of her. They continued to gaze at each other. After some time, Vision said, “Wanda, months ago you said that I should sue the production because I did not find love. But I did, simply not in the way I might have expected. I found love with you.”

“Vizh.” He had made his speech confidently, but his regard wavered when she did not respond right away. She reached for his cheek, dying to reassure him. “I love you, too.”

The most relieved smile she had ever seen broke out on his face. That look sent new warmth into Wanda’s heart. She’d known the truth of this, but she didn’t want to admit it to herself. Now that she had, there was only one thing left to do.

She used her hand on his cheek to pull him into a kiss. All thoughts of leaving fled her mind in the wake of it. Vision’s hands had landed on her waist and Wanda’s had traveled to his chest. She didn’t even know when she had dropped her things. Her eyes fluttered open to see Vision smiling down at her in wonder. “May we do that again, please?”

“Oh, yeah.” She dragged him toward the sofa. “I have nowhere to be all day.” Wanda immediately cuddled up to his side, and he leaned his head closer to her, kissing her softly.

After a few delicious minutes, Vision broke their kiss. His expression was serious and contemplative. “Is there a protocol for adding a romantic element to a pre-existing friendship?”

“No protocol. We just figure out what works for us bit by bit.”

Vision’s clear relief transformed his face. He gave her one of the tiny smiles that she treasured. “But not on television.”

“Absolutely not.”


End file.
